I have a
thousand thoughts swirling in my head these days.. Some are connected and some
are not. Here are a few..
I haven’t
blogged since I got to Winthrop last year to begin the RUF internship… OOOPS.
I know nothing about grammar/writing well.. this is essentially a journal entry.. sorry for all the errors you're about to find!
I am supposed to decide for sure whether I
will be staying on with RUF at Winthrop next year or not. Overall, I would LOVE
to continue working with RUF.. but support raising is hard and the part of this
job where I am the weakest. This decision is a HEAVY one for me. Anytime I
think about leaving, I start crying.. (Ask my Campus Minister Mark, I've cried in Earthfare too many times this semester).. The faces of my sweet students flash in my
mind and I think about all the things I love about them, ways I can see the Lord
at work in their lives, and ways I hope to see them grow over time. I know the
Lord doesn’t need me to work in their lives, He will use whomever He pleases!
However, I am SO thankful that for two years it’s been ME He’s chosen to be at
Winthrop encouraging college students in the gospel! I am making this decision soon
and I would so appreciate anyone who is willing to offer up a prayer for my
heart and this decision process.
Tuesdays. I
like having my Winthrop upperclassmen girls Bible study on Tuesday nights
because as a student I had RUF large group at UCF on Tuesday nights.. it’s not totally
the same, but it’s a sweet reminder of
how the Lord got me where I am today. He
used RUF/the people of RUF at UCF on a weekly/daily basis to encourage me in
the word and challenge my thoughts of what it looked like to be a Christian.
Today, I get to encourage and challenge students on a daily basis for my JOB. It’s
amazing!
Also on
Tuesdays, I go to the gym and go on the Elliptical for 1 hour and 20 minutes…
WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD I DO THAT?! Well, I really don’t like running.. the
elliptical is much more enjoyable to me…
mostly because I watch shows on Hulu or Netflix and the time flies by.
AGAIN, TUESDAYS ARE GREAT… because I get watch the episode of THE VOICE that aired the night before!!! This may not sound like a big deal to you (or anyone else in the world) but to me this is just one way the Lord shows His grace to me. The Voice is one of my favorite shows.. (If you’re thinking “Oh that must be annoying like American Idol” then YOU’RE WRONG! I promise! It’s amazing… I was a skeptic until last spring. Try it!....... buuuut it's ok if you don't love it.) I have ZERO musical ability.. maybe even a negative amount if that’s possible, however, I enjoy The Voice for so many reasons. Partly, because you get to know a bit of the contestants story before they perform and it’s so sweeeeet to witness the ways each of them grow as an artist and as a person from some one-on-one coaching by big names in music such as Adam Levine, Pharrell Williams, Blake Shelton, & Gwen Stefani. To have someone in that position care about each contestant and believe in them, really makes a difference in how they carry themselves as a person, on & off the stage. My favorite thing about this season is the fact that there are SO many wonderful singers! I love their creativity and just pure talent the Lord has gifted them! I am often crying, laughing, or smiling really big when they hit these notes that are just amazing or do a song that seems like it was written for that moment…
AGAIN, TUESDAYS ARE GREAT… because I get watch the episode of THE VOICE that aired the night before!!! This may not sound like a big deal to you (or anyone else in the world) but to me this is just one way the Lord shows His grace to me. The Voice is one of my favorite shows.. (If you’re thinking “Oh that must be annoying like American Idol” then YOU’RE WRONG! I promise! It’s amazing… I was a skeptic until last spring. Try it!....... buuuut it's ok if you don't love it.) I have ZERO musical ability.. maybe even a negative amount if that’s possible, however, I enjoy The Voice for so many reasons. Partly, because you get to know a bit of the contestants story before they perform and it’s so sweeeeet to witness the ways each of them grow as an artist and as a person from some one-on-one coaching by big names in music such as Adam Levine, Pharrell Williams, Blake Shelton, & Gwen Stefani. To have someone in that position care about each contestant and believe in them, really makes a difference in how they carry themselves as a person, on & off the stage. My favorite thing about this season is the fact that there are SO many wonderful singers! I love their creativity and just pure talent the Lord has gifted them! I am often crying, laughing, or smiling really big when they hit these notes that are just amazing or do a song that seems like it was written for that moment…
Annnd THIS TUESDAY was definitely one of the days that I got suuuper teary on the
elliptical at Winthrop’s gym. With my decision about the future weighing on me,
all of the stories of tragedy all over the world that continue to flood our
news feed, sadness in the ways I fail as a friend/daughter/sister/human, and
just realizing there are too many ways the world is deeply broken for me to
spend an adequate time thinking about each of them... I felt sad & tired, my
heart just hurt.
BUT…IT WAS A
TUESDAY! This means The Voice got to be a bit of an escape for a little over an
hour. And when it’s time for The Voice, it means it’s time for a particular
artist named Jordan Smith (go look up his performances on you tube! He’s
precious & amazing!). Jordan’s little interview before he performed showed
him talking about why he chose this week’s song and He teared up talking about
how God has been faithful to him… so he chose to sing the Hymn “Great is Thy
Faithfulness”..
MAN. My heart
basically exploded and I felt my sweet Father in Heaven holding my heart. He reminded me of HIS faithfulness through something so seemingly silly as a TV
show I enjoy, where people compete to be the next big star in America.. No
longer did I feel like I was indulging a super cheesy “guilty pleasure” in loving this show,
I knew the Lord was using it! This hymn is amazing. And He used it to remind me
of His steadfast love and mercy.. As I listened to this song over and over all
day Wednesday I realized the lovely print one of my dear friends had given me
as a birthday gift was the same reminder this song encouraged me with. What a
tender God we have.. He gently moved me from sadness, to letting me enjoy a
silly show I love, using that show to remind me who HE is, and reminding me again
in HIS own words through the gift of a friend.
"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.
“The Lord is my portion,” says my soul, “therefore I will hope in Him.”"
- Lamentations 3: 22-24
The Lord
knows I doubt. He knows I need to be reminded of who He was, is, and always
will be. He knows I NEED this reminder over & over again. Truly, the only reason
I can wake up and not sulk in the sadness of who I am not and what is happening
in this world, is because I have hope in who HE is.
He loves the unlovable and pursues the undeserving. ME.
He is who He is. He has provided, is
providing, and will provide.
God is at work!
God is at work!
WATCH JORDAN
SMITH PERFORM THIS SONG HERE:
<3<3<3
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