Trust.
Why is trust such a big deal? Let’s define it.
Trust:
a. belief that someone or something is reliable,
good, honest, effective, etc.
b. assured reliance on the character, ability,
strength, or truth of someone or something.
Why is putting our wholehearted trust in God so hard?
Maybe because we've been wounded and hurt by people in our
lives who have wronged us?
Maybe because we've wounded others, and how can you trust
someone else when you can't trust yourself?
Maybe because we feel as though we've been wounded by God, because
we don’t understand what He is doing/ don't truly believe He is all of who He
says He is?
It is so hard for me to trust God with my life. (which is a
bit hilarious when you think about the fact that there is truly no life apart
from Him)
On a daily basis I struggle to believe and trust that THIS
(support raising aka potentially awkward conversations asking people to help
fund your ministry) is God’s best for me right now.
I wake up in the morning, terrified of how stupid I could
look if I don’t raise all of the money I have to in order to work for RUF. I
try to “trust Him” reminding myself that my time as an intern will be worth it
and if I can jusssst get to campus it will be smooth(er) sailing, I'm sure. I tell
myself to just push through and soon this season will be done, I can move on, and start ministering to the students at Winthrop.. the part that “really
matters”!
.........
The only issue with that is if I really believe what the
Bible says about God, that means this Monday night, (making lists of people to
contact, reading for the study program, writing thank you letters, pep talking
myself for any potentially awkward conversations about money, being in a state
of mind where I can not hide from what is terrifying to me because it’s my job
to be vulnerable, etc.) is His best for me, right now. And, I guess it matters
just as much as being on campus with students. And at a glance, that seems disappointing.
How could God’s best for me include calling someone I haven't talked to in ages
and asking them if they'd be willing to give me money, instead of already being
in Rock Hill meeting new students?
If I actually sit and wrestle with this in my head and
heart, I realize this could be the best place for me to be. God has me here,
vulnerable, risking, and depending on Him. There is nowhere to hide when you’re
support raising. RUF isn't just a campus ministry I’m involved in while
attending school. It has become the vessel God is using to continue bringing
the gospel to my life daily, and that I can hopefully be using to intentionally
bring the Gospel to college students as my full-time job. My name is attached
to RUF and I am declaring something to everyone by choosing to work for this
ministry. To do this, I have to raise money and be reminded daily that I am not
called to trust in my own abilities and can not find worth or value in anything
but HIM when talking to potential supporters. The insecurities and fears in me are coming out like never before, and
instead of being able to stuff them away, God has given me so many means to
work through them and see Him at work in the midst of my mess.
I can trust in a God who is good, reliable, honest, & effective
and I can rely on the truth of His character, ability, & strength. He has
never given me reason to doubt. He has always prevailed and will always prevail
over my shortcomings and the brokenness of this world.
“But now, this is what the Lord says—“he who created you, O Jacob,
he who formed you, O Israel, I have called you by name, you are mine.” –Isaiah 43:1
He created me. He formed me. He has called me His.
I hope He'll remind me of this when I wake up each morning..
knowing me I'll be worried about who I am going to talk to and wishing all
$32,401 would magically appear so I don't have to trust God and risk
asking people to come alongside me in this journey. I hope He'll remind me,
this is His best for me right now, I get to be in a place where it’s quite obvious
how much I need Him.
I'll be trying not to wish away this season for this last
month. (keyword: trying*)
I hope I can be all here, trusting God and His provision.
Click Here for a breakdown of my budget/financial needs.
Click Here if you'd like to give online and partner with me.
(really 21.5% but I really wanted to link that song...)
I would love for you to partner with me monthly! If you are considering and/or have questions please contact me! I need to be at 85% ($27,540.85) pledged before I can move to campus August 15th!
Examples of Monthly gifts:
$200/month (or $2,400/year)
$100/month (or $1,200/year)
$75/month (or $900/year)
Examples of Monthly gifts:
$200/month (or $2,400/year)
$100/month (or $1,200/year)
$75/month (or $900/year)
$50/month (or $600/year)
$30/month (or $360/year)
$20/month (or $240/year)
$15/month (or $180/year)
Thank you for letting me share this process with you!
Jaimie Pastori
jaimie.pastori@ruf.org
P.S. I would love yalls prayers while I am at training in Atlanta! I will be gone July 21-26 and I am so excited to connect with other interns/staff working for R.U.F. across the country! I am so excited to be encouraged and taught!
P.P.S.The God who created the beautiful Grand Canyon (pictured above!) is the one I am called to trust.. AMAZING.
(One of my favorite friends, Rebecca, and I in May at one of our favorite stops along our road trip from Orlando, FL to Palo Alto, CA.... my favorite road trip ever! Love her dearly and our sweet memories dearly.)
